#not to mention how much she loves nikolai and that IS entirely his element

[zmeydeva-arch]

there is... something to be said about zoya being a fresh water creature; she has a distaste for the open sea, yet she is always at her most relaxed when submerged in a tub. water is obviously one of her ruling elements but when mixed with salt and sediment well it no longer can sustain life, at least human life that is! there also is pure water in blood and of course zoya's connection to rain and the water found in vapor i do often thing about her capability to render herself entirely into mist as well but that is a post for another day

[gwynpool]

it’s 2AM and i just finished Rule of Wolves (spoilers definitely up ahead)

first, to inform everyone, i read the spoilers when it got leaked in twitter cuz i can’t help myself. (it’s a sickness, i know) i think this is important since it definitely influenced my perspective upon reading the book. also, this is my first time being early in a party so yay me! going in ROW was easy for me because i started King of Scars the day before book 2’s actual release date so everything’s fresh.

secondly, this is really long so i’m sorry. i just have a lot of feelings and need to write it all down. on with the rant.

King of Scars was wonderful to me since it gave me my favorite Shadow and Bone character and the girl who i used to hate for being a mean girl but who I now admire with every ounce of my being. It also introduced a new ship that I am now obsessed with and is ruling besides my love for Jude&Cardan. Not to mention, it gave us Nina, whom though i’m not entirely a fan of due to all my love focusing on Kaz and Inej, allowed the connection between Shadow&Bone with SixofCrows.

Moving on, ROW was a ride and whirlwind of emotions. unfortunately, it wasn’t always the best kind.

I love the fantasy elements of it (tho it was a huge leap especially with the saints power thingy) and the politics because i am a sucker for scheming and stealing thrones.

the zoyalai teasing and angst was painful but in the best way since slowburn is what keeps me going.

nina finding comfort (and attraction, apparently) from hanne made my heart flutter because i haven’t gotten over matthias but this allowed a sort of closure and next chapter for our waffle-loving queen.

the promised wedding by leigh wasn’t what i expected but i’m not complaining since david&genya deserved nothing but happiness.

almost everything seems going well (aside from the fact that aleksander was ressurected apparently)and then everything crashes and burns and i just have to wonder why?

so the promised funeral alongside the wedding one, immediately comes after two? three? chapters as they were attacked during the afterparty of the wedding. and guess what? leigh killed the fcking groom.

the thing is i already knew he was going to die (with the spoilers and all) but i did not expect it to come immediately after the freaking wedding. not even halfway through the book!

being spoiled, i think, took most of the pain from the event but it doesn’t lessen the fact that it was completely unnecessary??? like though the characters grieved, nothing much was affected from his death? also, don’t talk to me about the character development for the survivors from this tragic event because there. was. absolutely. NONE.

and then we have the fricking darling ressurected. i love him in the first book of the grishaverse though i knew he was still a villain, don’t get me wrong. and my heart ached but was also relieved with his death in the third. he also inspired one of my all-time favorite fantasy villain(antihero?) in the form of Adelina Amouteru in the Young Elites series.

Ceased to be a Darklina fan and am now shipping Aleksander with Adelina because their power tho? like clings to like and they are both imbued with unfathomable darkness. somebody write fics please.

but bringing him back was what for exactly? leigh bardugo preached on how toxic the darkling character was and how we really shouldn’t like him in terms of agreeing with his ideals and yada yada. and yet she brings him back because apparently, he’s the only one paying her bills.

his conversation with alina tho had me expecting some darklina crumbs with fan service on the side since the stans were all raving about it on twitter *vomiting noises from toxicity* but i was surprised since it just further reminded us of how he truly is a villain in his very core and would do anything to get what he wants. so all in all it wasn’t entirely awful and it actually made me like Mal a bit. (never was a fan of him but that’s my issue, not the character’s)

setting aside the darkling issue a bit, the POV from Mayu was skippable. i mean obviously it still needs to be read for the Shu politics and the khergud existence but it just made me want to go to the next pov. Same goes for the “the monk’s” POV since you all know how i feel about him and the cult with it’s assembly and shit ended up also being unnecessary towards the end. honestly, i could do without the journey of the starless saint and his cult.

i truly enjoyed the fjerdan plot to my surprise and i like how nina kind of went through the last of us 2 circle of hate journey. it was definitely difficult knowing her pain and all that she went through and still choosing to be the better person. and yet, i can’t help but be more proud of her development. also, the supposed death of hanne got me going for a second and was actually ready to storm leigh’s home to fix her mistake. thank god it was plot twist. that’s all i have to say on the nina POV because i don’t wanna ruin my good feeling on this.

the crows cameo gave us a mini heist and it just made me miss reading their adventures. also the suli scene tugged at my heart.

imma skip zoya’s transformation but it utterly made me feel amazing and i have never been more glad that she’s kind of overpowered. she deserves it so fck all them haters. you can choke.

nikolai’s revelation and decision for the ravkan throne was not all that surprising, even without my knowledge of the spoilers. i honestly had a feeling that he was always his best self when he was strumhond and he only chose to fulfill the duties of the king because at that time, there was no other choice. so him giving up the throne to his beloved soldier, summoner and saint was a quite satisfying choice of route. there has been some others who would contest nikolai’s decision to step down as something unnecessary in the grand scheme of things but i would stand by my belief that nikolai made the best choice for ravka and for himself. not to say that i didn’t want to see both the queen and king side by side ruling but what are fanfictions for?

zoyalai is canon and endgame. finally. i can die now.

now the last two chapters was a toss up. for the first one was the darkling’s sacrifice. okay, so i was also spoiled by this from twitter but when i was reading the book, i keep expecting it to be brought up and it wasn’t. so i honestly thought that maybe that spoiler was a prank. lo and behold it was not and it wasn’t until the very last end. so the buildup was goddamn awful. the whole concept of the thorn wood and sort of atlas moment was just no. like you’re just springing this up now? when we’re supposed to be tying up loose ends but making sure it had history and buildup to well, back it up.

also leigh outright writing genya saying it was not a redemption for the darkling and him being unapologetic about his crimes (basically being a truly evil asshole) doesn’t remove the fact that it still comes off as a redemption arc especially with what is now the synopsis of SOC 3 but ill get to that. he still was the one who did a heroic deed and that fucks me up because it was just devastating to me after making peace with his end in ruin and rising. not because i was hurt that he died yet again boohoo but because it kind of invalidates everything that alina, genya, zoya and countless other victims went through.

on a side note, the darling stans on twitter who keeps defending his actions, i would really advise you to reflect on your decisions cuz it is honestly unhealthy. also, you lot talking smack about nikolai and zoya refusing to sacrifice their lives? stop twisting the story to suit your toxic admiration, nikolai was even first to offer up his life and would do so if it was actually possible. so just go hide in your darkling cocoon and stop hating on other characters to justify your favored aleksander.

the very last chapter aka coronation was good because it gave us inej ghafa cameo as captain of her ship and bonding with our resident privateer and also genya, alina and zoya bonding. but it was bad because apparently the darkling chronicles is still not over and now we’re supposed to grant him death like that’s going to make everything okay? i know forgiveness and breaking the circle of hate and revenge is a huge theme in this duology but honestly, this is just too extreme. with nina it was understandable and the people she hated were born of twisted mindset and circumstances but the darkling? hahahah no. he is a literal immortal who was delusional so now that he’s paying for his crimes, you want to allow him death because you have nightmares? zoya, goddamit no! same to you genya and alina. and so this will be the plot for the third six of crows? why can’t we just stop making this about him. now he gunna steal kaz’s thunder? over my dead body.

in the end, i gave this book 4 stars in goodreads because if i ignore the darkling plot, it was a really good use of politics and fantasy merging in a storyline. i can’t fault leigh for choosing to do this since it’s still her book so i definitely don’t have a right to dictate what i expected from this. also, i have a half a mind to believe that she fell in love with ben barnes and had him in mind writing this so i really cannot blame her because i have been under that man’s charms since prince caspian came out. the spoilers i read made me more open in reading this (backwards thinking but eh that’s how i roll) so i’m not at all crushed by what transpired. it was just weird and was lackluster in its attempt to give ravka some sort of peace. frankly, i just want to read the third six of crows book to maybe find some sort of calm in all this craziness and also delve in some zoyalai fanfiction because it was a long time coming.

shameless promotion but if you guys want to check out my nikolai duology spotify playlist, here’s the link:

[spellboundinks]

Happy STS! I’m not sure WHY I’m thinking about D&D, there’s absolutely no reason for it at all, but let’s say the kiddos from IL are in a campaign scenario -what are their classes, personas, and alignments?

Huh funny thing I’ve been thinking about dnd quite a lot this week too what a coincidence. This is like seven asks in one though omg!

First off, Nikolai would 100% be teaching these young adults how to play dnd in the library and he would def be the dm for them. He’d plan for weeks, draw up maps and props and ask Karma (the librarian) for her input.

Harmony: Lightfoot Halfling Ranger Lawful Good

I think Harmony would gravitate to the more human-like races and I think she’d find the Lightfoot Halfling to be a good choice. I think she’d enjoy their ability to go unnoticed and how they get along well with others. I think she would also choose the ranger class as a pretty fun and classic fantasy choice. I went for lawful good with her because I think she’d be most comfortable playing with that alignment.

Kirt: Half-Orc Sorcerer Chaotic Good

Kirt would gravitate to a character that’s fun and exciting and isn’t predictable. I think he’d find half-orcs to be really cool and the sorcerer class would allow him to play with a bunch of cool spells (not to mention sorcerer class has striking similarities to his own abilities and their origin). Chaotic good would allow him lots of room to push the character and the narrative in fun directions.

Ellody: Tiefling Rogue True Neutral

Any chance for Ellody to have the cool, mysterious, brooding character is an opportunity she’s going to take. I think she’d really enjoy playing a Tiefling Rogue and the true neutral alignment would allow her lots of freedom and opportunity in her actions.

Winic: Human Cleric or Wizard Lawful Neutral

Winic is not exactly one to play make believe so he’s going to go with something as close to reality as possible. Which means something pretty close to himself. None of the fantasy races are appealing to him so he’s sticking with human. As for class, he’s going to choose something that is thought highly of. He would find the cleric appealing for its service to a higher power, but I could also see him going for the wizard class because wizards are also scholars. Lawful neutral means a lot of rule following and he would be most comfortable with that. Guaranteed WInic reads the wrong edition handbook and argues with Nikolai the entire game about the rules.

Claron: Eladrin Elf Druid Chaotic Neutral

I think the elf race and druid class were made for Claron. Druids are very much magical like her, but even more specifically tied to nature and I think she’d really enjoy that. She’d have a lot of fun with a chaotic neutral alignment. I think she would choose the Eladrin subrace specifically because the Feywild realm would interest her.

Jasper: Air Genasi Bard Neutral Evil

Look, Jasper’s an air elemental. It seems the obvious choice, and Jasper would love to get inspiration for making use of the abilities in ways the game might never have thought of but he, as a practicing air elemental, would. Also I think he would get a kick out of the bard class and it suits his personality well. He would choose neutral evil not because he’s evil but because playing a snarky, monologuing bard would be right up his alley.

Anny: Water Genasi Fighter Neutral Good

Like Jasper, Anny would also gravitate to a Genasi because she herself is a water elemental. So she too can come up with creative ways to use the Genasi’s abilities to help the campaign. Anny has a fighting spirit so she would LOVE to be the big tough fighter in the group. And of course she’s going to fight for good.

Thank you for the ask Rachy!!!

[mermaidsirennikita]

February 2019 Book Roundup

February was the month that I decided to give the Shadow and Bone trilogy another shot.  And it was mediocre, as were most of the books I read this month.  The standout was probably Robinne Lee’s Harry Styles fanfic novel The Idea of You, but even that was a 3 star read.  Wish me luck next month!

99% Mine by Sally Thorne.  2/5.  Darcy has long been in love with Tom Valeska, her childhood friend.  Unfortunately, Tom is equally close--if not closer--to Darcy’s twin brother, Jamie.  Between her estrangement from Jamie, Tom’s engagement to another woman, and their unsaid fears of what getting together would mean for the trio as a whole, Tom and Darcy have never made it happen.  But now that Tom is the contractor for the renovation project on Darcy’s grandmother’s house, they’ll have a whole summer together--without Jamie.  And Darcy may just be able to make Tom entirely hers.  I HATE giving this two stars.  I loved Thorne’s debut, The Hating Game--and this should have been just as good.  The fact is that Darcy kind of ruined it.  I love an aggressive heroine, but she was... over the top.  Fake.  I didn’t get her damage, to be frank.  And Darcy’s forwardness towards Tom, if you could call it that, not only seemed disingenuous--it also would have read VERY differently if their genders were flipped.  Within seconds of finding out that she has a chance with Tom, Darcy is aggressive with him to the point of being outright pushy.  It’s desperate at best and borderline predatory at worst.  Never mind the issues later on, regarding the fact that these adults never acted like adults.  There were some cute scenes and Thorne knows how to write sexual tension, but that couldn’t overcome the book’s problems.  Still--I eagerly await her next novel.  This could just be one misfire.

Shadow and Bone by Leigh Bardugo.  3/5.  In the world of the Grisha (where the titular magic users are in a class above their powerless counterparts) Alina is a mapmaker.  Traveling alongside the Ravkan army, she is attempting to chart the Shadow Fold, which splits the country in two and harbors horrible monsters.  When an attempt to cross the Fold goes wrong, Alina unleashes a power that she never knew she had.  This leads to her catching the attention of the Darkling, a grisha and arguably the most powerful man in the kingdom.  Alina’s newly discovered power could save Ravka--but as she enters in the royal court, she realizes that there’s much more to the dealings of Ravka than what meets the eye.  I read this about six-ish years ago and gave it two stars.  I’m giving it one more because I do think I was a stick in the mud about some things back in the day, and this is a fun book.  However, you can really, REALLY tell that Bardugo has grown.  I kind of wish that she’d been able to write the Darkling-Alina dynamic in a post Kaz Brekker world, with a lot more nuance and a lot, LOT less Mal, who feels like that obligatory childhood friend love interest in the kind of triangle that was expected when this book came out in 2012.  (Speaking of: this book came out in 2012, and rip-offs are VERY much still actively being published, so’s interested.)  There’s so much cool shit in the Grisha universe.  But though I’m more okay with Alina than I was in 2012, I still find her to be kind of dull in comparison to the other leads I’ve seen Bardugo produce since.  But hey, the Darkling is indeed hot.  So there’s that.

Siege and Storm by Leigh Bardugo.  3/5.  The sequel to Shadow and Bone has much of the same issues as the first book--but I’d still say it’s more fun.  Why?  We aren’t pretending that the Darkling is convincingly non-suspicious, for one thing.  For another, we get Nikolai!  Everyone talked about Nikolai.  He lived up to expectations, and I look forward to Bardugo writing about him again.  I’m honestly not sure if she’s grown so much, as I really like the world of Ravka, just as I liked the world of Ketterdam in the much better “Six of Crows”.  Maybe the issue is the characters?  Because Alina and Mal really are so boring.  Hey, though--the Darkling is still great. I tend to wonder what Bardugo would have done with him in a post-Reylo world.

Ruin and Rising by Leigh Bardugo.  3/5.  I don’t think I really cared about this series enough to be as mad as people were when this book came out.  Or maybe I just was bracing myself for total disappointment--and there were things I liked about the ending?  Alina remains kinda lame.  Mal remains a bit annoying.  Love Nikolai and the Darkling.  Wish that this premise was handled in a more adult way.  The end.  I’m still excited about the Netflix deal--I loved Six of Crows and frankly, in different hands and under a different lens I can see myself loving this series much more.

The Idea of You by Robinne Lee.  3/5.  Thirty-nine-year-old Solene is covering for her ex-husband when she takes their preteen daughter, Isabelle, to an August Moon concert.  August Moon is the hottest boy band in the world, and Isabelle is smitten with the boys.  What Solene doesn’t expect is her instant connection with one of the boys, twenty-year-old Hayes, during a meet and greet.  What follows begins as a fling, but slowly develops into a real relationship as Hayes and Solene fall for each other.  But can they overcome the age difference between them--not to mention the darker aspects of Hayes’s fame?  This is, most definitely, a One Direction fanfiction turned into a novel.  Hayes is Harry Styles, no doubt about it.  There are the rumors about his sexuality, the crazy fans, the little catch phrases.  But it’s deeper than most self-insert fanfic novels.  I debated the rating on this one--the ending is abrupt, but bolder than I would have expected.  The relationship is treated somewhat realistically, as unbelievable as that seems (to be honest, Harry Styles having a fling with a woman twice his age isn’t really so out of the question).  But there were elements that just made me question Lee’s understanding of the issues surrounding relationships with such big age gaps.  And while she seemed willing to depict the problems surrounding boy bands, the way she dealt with them was... not always the best.  Still--a more nuanced romance that I expected.

The Chef’s Secret by Crystal King.  2/5.  In late sixteenth century Rome, Bartolomeo Scappi is a legendary chef, serving as the pope’s personal cook.  When he dies, he wills everything to his nephew, Giovanni--who also receives Bartolomeo’s secret journal. The journal reveals a long-hidden relationship between Bartolomeo and an unknown woman, leading Giovanni on a quest to uncover his uncle’s past.  I really liked King’s Feast of Sorrow, another piece of historical fiction by way of crime and cooking.  So why did this one suck so much?  I’m really not sure.  I do care more about Renaissance Italy than Ancient Rome--so maybe that biased me against it.  But I also just think that every “twist” was predictable, every beat hollow.  I still liked reading about the food, but this just wasn’t good.  Furthermore, there’s a creepy thread to Bartolomeo’s relationship with his lost love that I really couldn’t get over.  This was trying hard for an Immortal Beloved vibe, but it was a swing and a miss.

[literary-princess]

Thoughts on King of Scars

I don’t think the final sentence of a book has ever made me gag so audibly as King of Scars did.

Thanks, Leigh.

(Spoilers below).

I was SO ON BOARD with Zoya in this book. I fell in love with her character. The only two notes I took were from her POV:

“Why do they love him?” On page 249, which is the most agreeable sentence in this whole damn universe, both referring to the story characters and the fan base.

And page 478, on which I just wrote “yes, burn the motherfucker”.

In case my feelings aren’t clear - I fucking hate the Darkling. With every fiber of my being. I hate him more than Dolores Umbridge. I hate him more than any other fictional villain I’ve ever read.

So. This is a duology. And of course I’ll read the next one, only so I can watch Zoya snap his neck.

I got so optimistic thinking this universe would continue on without this unbearable character, but I guess if I want to escape him I’m going to have to just stick to Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom.

Which will also help my sanity because the Nina Zenik in those books was far more likable than the Nina Zenik I just read 500 pages about in King of Scars.

She spent the first half of it crying over the man who is essentially the Frollo to her Esmeralda. (Lucky for me Matthias was my least favorite character from Six of Crows, so I get to spend a whole 250-ish more pages hearing about him here instead of just enjoying the satisfaction of having him gone, yaaaaay) And then she immediately start making googly eyes at this new girl, Hanne. Because that’s how you realistically mourn someone you loved (but really shouldn’t have) apparently. It’s only been like a month, girl, slow down. Oh and of course she’s conveniently Jarl Brum’s daughter. Of course she is.

I’m also just annoyingly attached to Wylan Van Eck and took great offense to the fact that he’s the only Crow not mentioned at all in this book. Everyone else, even Kuwei, got at least a name drop if not a few dedicated references, but nothing about Wylan at all. Just a tiny little complaint.

I am very much enjoying the romance building with Zoya and Nikolai. It’s very Kaz and Inej-esque but without all the frustration I felt from the characters’ own stubbornness. Their reluctance is a lot more relatable to me, probably partly because we’ve known them a bit longer. But maybe that’s just me.

I always get attached to awkward fumbling side characters that need protecting so of course Isaak was on my radar but then the ending happened so. Yeah.

I don’t know if it’s just me, but I feel like the universe is getting more and more fantastical. SOC kind of shied away from the magical creatures and fantasy elements a bit but they’re back in full force and it’s almost like reading an extended universe story. I’m not entirely sure how I feel about shape shifting dragons and things like that when I’ve had the idea of the Grisha universe being a little more mundane and factual this entire time. Perhaps it’ll grow on me.

I had a lot of negatives to point out here, but I feel like other reviews have all focused very much on the positives that I already agree with, and I’m not much of a “rave review” kind of gal, but I will say it was enough for me to excitedly anticipate the next book and hope (and pray and cry and beg a little) that all the negatives I’m feeling right now will be resolved.

[justanotherdumpingground]

Chapter Reviews: April 1-5, 2019

Desire & Decorum Chapter 15:

Ugh! I hate seeing my MC being forced to wear the dress Duke Richards gave her and having to pay diamonds to get the Edgewater one. And what's with the option to have intimate moments with the other love interests? I'd stick with Hamid any day.

Crap! I didn't pick Edmund to walk down the aisle with me. Well, at least Bartholomew Chambers is good enough.

About time Viscount Westonly's mishearing comes in handy. Dragging him closer to the altar is a good way to delay the wedding vows further, though I'm sore at Hamid not objecting to the wedding.

At long last I get to reject Duke Richards during the wedding day itself. And it was a pleasant surprise to see Dominique and the queen stopping the wedding. About time the story goes somewhere. Now time for the showdown.

Across the Void Chapter 16:

The Jura general is one callous b***h. I swear, Pax needs to ditch the Jura, who comes across as moronic as the Vanguard. Just look at my precious Atlas sustaining major damage. At least the passangers are still cheerful, even though most of them except Lyra and Barlow are worthless.

Anyway, my MC and Sol got to prepare the Equinox for Barlow, and the scene is okay, though Sol's mention of his home planet just makes me think he could've been a great character while not hogging the spotlight. He's wasted potential, like the other love interests.

High School Story: Class Act Chapter 8:

I'm sick of the presidential election story sidelining my MC and Skye. Not to mention the twin's so immature for thinking it's serious business. Even their pro-sports platform is ridiculous because it's already the most supported program.

Super sad that I have to pay diamonds ro see my old MC and his friends. If I ever replay this book, I better pick that option. I heard it's also a good moment to see him and Aiden together.

As for the winter festival, I think there will be unnecessary drama, which has become the same old, same old.

Passport to Romance Chapter 4:

Honestly, Elliot's behaving like a manchild for playing around Marie Antoinette's bed. That guy shouldn't be on the MC's vlog. But then again, the MC is such a dimwit for getting basic history facts wrong. At least there's Sumire to provide insightful takes on Versailles.

Ahmed's change in demeanor isn't endearing me to him. His disdain for such opulence because it reminds him of the common man's plight is starting to make him act like a stereotypical social justice warrior. It would've made sense if he was raised rather poor, but he mentioned being in his family's home videos a lot, so probably not.

Anyway, I feel bad for Marisa having to deal with her boyfriend not seeing her again. Honestly, she better ditch him soon, just like Lily Spencer ditched Melanie early on.

America's Most Eligible Chapter 12:

Omar warning my MC to stay away from Jen just because he thought they're romantically involved doesn't make sense in this playthrough. Sure I like Jen, and my MC regards her as his friend, but not once did they do anything romantic. I mean, I roleplay my MC as gay, so...

I like how stylish Adam, Derek, Mackenzie, and Jen look in winter clothing. It's a pity the MC is never provided any. At least most of the activity is done indoors.

I'm starting to think Vince is getting the Ivy treatment. The narrative encourages me to hate him by giving me premium options to sabotage his food. It reminds me of the premium options to make the skit scene with Ivy look dramatic.

Dang, Heath and Slater giving me the cold shoulder is a reminder that I eliminated them. The irony is that Slater's still close with me. At least there's Bianca to vouch for me, and Ronan and Yvette seem to be fine with me.

Open Heart Chapter 8:

When Ethan told me to keep Naveen being Patient X a secret, I chose to keep it a promise, even when the MC's friends are asking him. Look, I know not everyone likes him, but I have to respect his privacy. Not to mention that I felt bad for him when he said he felt powerless when it comes to his seeming inability to treat Naveen, especially since he already lost Dolores.

I'm starting to respect Elijah more for his desire to save lives after a doctor saved his. I feel bad for him struggling with chronic spinal cord damage and his family's subsequent bankruptcy after paying for a surgery that saved his life. Even more so when he felt guilty for his family's ordeal even though it was never his fault to begin with. What ultimately made him earn my respect, however, was that decision to become a doctor alone after feeling inspired by the doctor who saved his.

So, the bachelorette party my MC and Bryce attended has three recycled models. Honestly, I understand that PB needs to save time, resources, and effort, but choosing already prominent characters like Scarlett Emerson? That's just bizarre. Still less bizarre compared to Nikolai Petrov's model reused in RoD even though his model, particularly the octopus tattoo, plays an integral role in VoS's story.

Ride or Die Chapter 12:

Toby should just quit the Mercy Park Crew and start a new life. Maybe a career in car painting. After all, it's an honest job.

Colt has gone the deep end, hasn't he? I never fully trusted him in the beginning, and seeing him proceeding with his job just proves his ruthlessness, even when it comes to the MC. To think of it, he's shaping to be like Icarus, who flew too close to the sun that the wax on his fake wings melted, causing him to fall to his death in the sea. I guess he'll perform an extremely risky move that it will be his downfall, all because of his pride.

So... Jason is part of the Brotherhood after all. Well, I guess you could call me foolish for underestimating the theory that he's a member of the Brotherhood and cooperating with him. After all, he's shady, and the reveal's predictable. The Brotherhood informant Foley being part of his task force is no surprise because of his character model. What kinda shocked me, however, was that Jason's entire task force are members of the Brotherhood, and the ending depends on whether MC sent info to Jason or not. Nevertheless, I find all od them except Jason rather bland because I only know that they could be worse than the Mercy Park Crew without being shown why.

After seeing people saying that Jason killed Foley, and they and their MC got trapped in the vault by the MPC, I gotta say that I'm impressed choices do matter. One thing I noticed is that consistently helping Jason (which is what I did) has him freeing Foley instead of killing him, restraining him, and telling him that MC saved their lives.

At this point, I'm going to say that as much as I hate this story for its clichés, overt focus on Logan, bland protagonist, and the predictable reveal on Jason, I begrudgingly concede that there are some parts I like. Among them are Colt and Teppei's characterization and this chapter's outcome depending on player choices.

The Elementalists Chapter 4:

The premium scene where Beckett experiments on the elements got me intrigued on how elements work in the story. I feel like it's about time I learn about the combos of the elements leading to a "higher" one (e.g. water + air = wood). Nevertheless, it would've been much better if this is free, as it reveals a bit about the plot and setting.

Man, Aster is someone who needs a big hug after her dad calls her out for mingling with humans. Seeing her and her species reeling from the outcome of the Wand Wars got me thinking this will lead to an important story arc that needs a satisfying conclusion. After all, the sour relations between humans and wood nymphs is a good way to show the gray elements in the setting. I also wasted no time cheering her up by helping her at her shop.

After the appearance of the caped lady who called herself the Blood Source, that got me even more excited on how the elements came into being. Seeing that blood is at the top of the pyramid, I think the lady is the first one created, followed by sun and moon, then wood and metal, and finally the other four, including Kane.

Speaking of Kane, as much as I like him, his behavior in this chapter is a somber reminder of the danger he poses. I like his playfulness and friendly demeanor towards the MC, but him suffocating the school staff shows his disregard for life.

[flameclaw22]

Book Review: The Crown’s Game

Spoilers ahead!

Rating: 1 star out of 5

I'd been contemplating reading Circle of Shadows, the newest Evelyn Skye novel, but I wanted to test the waters by reading another of her books first. I found The Crown's Game on sale in the NOOK store for $1.99, so I snapped it up. In a way, I'm glad I did, because reading The Crown's Game ultimately prevented me from wasting considerably more money on Circle of Shadows.

I could use the phrase “dumpster fire” to describe this book, but that's really not fitting: Dumpster fires at least entail vaguely interesting events. The Crown’s Game is easily one of the dullest books I’ve ever read - even duller than any novel in the Twilight series. It’s no compliment to say that Stephanie Meyer did a better job world-building. Evelyn Skye exerted such negligible effort on world-building that her tale barely squeaks into the historical fantasy genre, giving more of the feel of historical fanfiction with magic tossed in for shits and giggles. The magic originates from some spring or fountain or some bullshit that apparently pays attention to arbitrary geopolitical boundaries and nationality. And excluding faith healers and a couple of magical creatures, the latter of whom are only mentioned in passing, there are only four known characters in Russia with the magic, and two of them monopolize most of it. Since both competitors possess gargantuan supplies of the magic, the result is a pair of stupidly overly-powerful heroes.

Skye is just as bad at inventing plots as she is at world-building. Expect no real action or intrigue from Crown’s Game. The game itself is nothing more than an unstructured magical pissing contest, and Skye fails to leave enough to the imagination to keep readers hooked. There’s no nefarious plot running beneath the surface, there’s no tension or suspense; it’s just a fight for who gets to be the tsar’s chief suck-up and who gets to die, and the two competitors falling in love.

The characters are breathtakingly boring. If you played the Wii Fit obstacle course game, you probably remember what a pain in the ass it was to avoid those logs, lest your Mii be comically flattened. Clearly The Crown’s Game’s characters played this game and lost spectacularly, because damn, are they dimensionally challenged. Though it’s not Vika’s fault that Pasha worshipfully describes her in a manner that is utterly vomit-inducing, it is Vika’s fault for failing to demonstrate that she is anything more than an insipid, gorgeous magical girl anime reject. She has pretty red hair with a black streak in it and can generate an entire island with her mind. She misses her dad. She’s pretty. She’s powerful. Did I mention she’s pretty? The way Vika blathers on about how attractive Nikolai is implies that she’s never seen a boy before (even though that’s probably not true). Spare me the agony.

Scarcely surpassing the sentience of a doorknob, Nikolai might as well have been a giant Russian Ken doll. His thoughts mostly consist of dreamily imagining banging Vika, hawing over not wanting to kill her, and attempting to concoct a contest-winning plan. When a woman in a semi-zombified state shows up out of the blue - alleging to be his mother, no less - Nikolai is relatively unperturbed. His strongest reaction is his revulsion over how dreadful Aizhana smells. Come on. Even if you live in a world steeped in magic, if a shambling, malodorous corpse lady appears and claims to be your dead mommy, you should shit yourself, at least a little bit. If all you can do is complain about is the foul stench, you desperately need help. When he walks into the Enchanted Hollow, a goddam cave, his thought is, “So this is why it’s called the Enchanted Hollow.” You’re a little slow on the uptake, pal. Reading this particular line evokes thoughts of that iCarly scene where Kurt, the cute but dumb (fired) intern, rides the elevator and then breathes in awe, “This is an elevator.” And really, that captures Nikolai’s essence - the hot but moronic guy who should be fired before he ruins the world. I half-expected him to pop into a scene with a plastic bag of lemonade.

Pasha isn’t much better. Like Nikolai, he too obsesses over Vika to a degree that seriously annoyed me, as a reader stuck in his head. (What I can say is that Pasha, as nauseatingly pesky as his crush-related thoughts are, isn’t a complete creep. For instance, he refrains from kissing Vika while she is asleep because he does not want to disrespect/violate her.) Unlike Nikolai, however, he exhibits some intellectual curiosity and later undergoes a considerable personality change; unfortunately, this shift is such an about-face that its effect comes off less as character development and more as a rancorous temper tantrum.

There’s little to say for the remaining characters. Renata merely serves to upgrade the love triangle to a love web. Ludmila is Vika’s plump, middle-aged sidekick, who effectively fills the role of a lame-ass Molly Weasley: a source of tasty baked goodies and motherly love, minus the tough fierceness that makes Molly so endearing. Pasha’s sister, Yuliana, functions as the impetus behind the Crown’s Game, urging her father to commence the contest, but Tsar Alexander is such an unpleasant dickbag that no other scapegoat for starting the game is truly required, rendering Yuliana obsolete. At virtually every given opportunity, he goes out of his way to be rude, condescending, or snappish. During his spiel about the rules of the game, Vika interrupts him as respectfully as possible to inquire about why one Enchanter must die at the end of the game, and Alexander acts as if she’s expressed the desire to hit him in the testicles repeatedly with a large stick. He can’t even muster the patience or sympathy to answer a valid question posed by a competitor - a teenager, mind you - in a fatal contest to be the tsar’s magical toady. When Vika arrives at the ball in her fabulous dress, the tsar snidely remarks that she should “take care not to become too enamored of the tsarevich” because “it will require more than a showy gown to be worthy.” Damn it, dude, she just told you that she fashioned her clothes herself. Would it kill you to just toss out some platitude or another? Honestly, I pity Tsarina Elizabeth - she deserves so much better than Alexander. Sergei’s role is just being Vika’s mentor/father figure and an eventual sacrifice; Sergei’s bitchy sister, Galina, is a fucking psychopath who forces Nikolai to kill animals that she put in his bedroom and doesn’t miss a chance to remind him of his “low birth”. And if you’re holding out for a decent villain, don’t bother: Despite being one of the more interesting characters, Aizhana is just a vengeful zombie who boasts a typhus-riddled black tongue (I kid you not), long fingernails, and a festering grudge. That’s pretty much it.

And just what the fuck is this sentence structure?! The writing is clunky, awkward, and the cause of many an eye-roll. For example: “Nikolai shook his head at the beauty of Bolshebnoie Duplo.” This is an actual sentence in a published book not written for fourth-graders. This is an actual sentence in a published book that is presumably not written by a fourth-grader. I have read and enjoyed books with similar writing flaws, but the other elements of the book compensated for them. Obviously, nothing in The Crown's Game does.

This clumsy delivery pervades the romance of the book too. In yet another nightmare sentence, Pasha gushes about this gorgeous girl (Vika), whom he spotted from a distance the other day:

“She has red hair, like the most hypnotizing part of a flickering flame, and her voice is both melodic and unflinching.”

Ew, gross, no, stop. You’re embarrassing yourself, Pasha. You heard her speak but three sentences from a distance and now you can describe her voice like that? Not only does this further paint Vika as a Mary Sue, but it also just makes Pasha look like a pompous ass. This sort of florid diction is typically reserved for Lord Byron’s poetry. And then, when Pasha hops back on the boat back to St. Petersburg, Skye writes, “He murmured, ‘Vika,’ to himself, more than once.” Oh. My. God. By this point, I can safely say that Pasha acts like Ron Weasley under the influence of Romilda Vane’s love potion. J.K. Rowling at least had the courtesy to cure Ron of his sorry state by within the chapter; Skye’s characters, on the other hand, continue this behavior throughout Crown’s Game. I can’t pick on just Pasha, not when Vika serves up internal monologues like this one:

“It was as if the attempts to kill her faded into the background, and now she saw the truth at the core of it all: Nikolai’s magic was gorgeous and powerful and... and... Her lungs faltered. Even the mere memory of his magic was so strong. And touching Nikolai, even through her gloves and his sleeve, was like being pummeled by a stampede of wild horses. No, wild unicorns. Beautiful, wild unicorns.”

He’s the other enchanter, and she’s just now figured out that he’s powerful? Also, does she want to fuck him or his magic? If you think Nikolai contributes nothing to this travesty of romance, you’re quite wrong:

“He had thought, during the mazurka, that they’d had something. Their touch had both frenzied and frozen the ballroom. Their breathing had synchronized, heatedly.”

I could find more examples but I really don’t want to, since I prefer not vomiting.

Skye spends so much time on saccharine pseudo-poetry that she skimps on meaningful interactions between characters, particularly those involved in the two pairings we the readers are supposed to choose between. One carriage ride and a ballroom dance with Vika, whom he’s only known for a couple of weeks, and he thinks he’s so in love with her that when he discovers Nikolai's identity as the second enchanter and that Nikolai is "in love" with Vika too, he feels betrayed enough to pit the two of them - his best friend and the girl he supposedly loves - against each other in a battle to the death. Nikolai and Vika's encounters consist of either one attempting to murder the other, often with a crowd of bystanders within view, or gazing longingly into each other's eyes. Although Vika does have a sweet mother-daughter scene with Ludmila, and Sergei and Galina seem to reach some kind of reconciliation before the former dies, character-to-character interactions are generally superficial and unanimated.

In the end, whether you subject yourself to the agony of reading this book is up to you. Personally, I think it might be less time-consuming to purchase a bottle of high fructose corn syrup from the grocery store, go home, and drink the entire fucker in one sitting. You'd get the same bland, over-sweet experience from whichever one you choose. As for me, I won't be reading another book of Evelyn Skye's. I've had enough literary corn syrup to last me a lifetime.

You can also read this review on my website: <https://thebookishhawk.home.blog/2019/02/25/the-crowns-game-book-review/>.